The American Overclocked Otaku

It’s 1:51 AM. I’ve been wanting to post for a good hour now, but I’ve nothing worth posting!

So, tomorrow I’ll post something. Probably. =)

Meh…I really don’t feel like going to work today. I mean, I know I had yesterday off; but that doesn’t mean I’m particularly thrilled over the prospect of hopping back into it. But with that being said, I’ve been getting a lot more hours as of late. That’s pretty good, considering how I’ve been trying to save up my paychecks (Or trying to!). My next day off is Friday, which means Aardvark’s and FNM. With the amount of drafting I’ve been doing online, I’m not worried about doing poorly; but what I am worried about is hearing how almost nobody’s been coming on Fridays. Eh, I’ll believe -that- when I see it. =x

Christmas is finally coming around the corner, which is good and bad in a weird sort of way. It’s good in the respect that I hope to get a bunch of stuff from my family, but it’s kinda sad. Not only due to the fact that my entire year feels wasted, but just because it’s a year I’ll never experience, again. Looking back, in just 365 days I’ve been an Environmental Technician, a waiter, and finally the Sandwich Artist I am, today. I’ve seen crazy people in Baltimore, worried about my grandma having a heart attack (she didn’t ^-^) and bombed my Accounting class (While, oddly, still passing it. =D Awesome teacher). My truck broke down, I’ve elaborated on the specifics of foreskin, I’ve gone through my “Onion Phase” and I’ve been irritable from lack of sleep at least several dozen times. I’ve gotten games, anime, and rare Magic: the Gathering cards…But no girlfriend. x.X

I’d like to say that I’ve learned a lot this year. I’d love to say that I’m a much better person than I was a year ago. But really…Nothing feels different. I’m still single, I’m still a dork, and I still go to Aardvark’s every Friday that I’m able. I still begrudgingly go to work, I still love to sleep in, and I still play Ogame and Vendetta.

I guess this is a bit of reflection on my part…But I suppose I shouldn’t expect myself to change, even in a year; it’s what I learned and experienced that matter most. =3 I’ll make another post tonight. Maybe.

I really don’t know how I’m awake right now. Or rather, I really don’t know how I’ve been awake for the past three hours. I’m not a morning person, and unless it’s for work the law is that Tom sleeps in. Period.

Speaking of the law, it’s a good thing I wasn’t having/giving much in the way of oral sex around 1999. Then I’d be an outlaw! ~.^ When an employee- my assistant manager, actually- told me that both giving and recieving anal and oral sex was illegal in Maryland, I had to investigate. So, after much in the way of searching, I’m happy to announce that it’s legal to have as much oral and anal sex as one wants in Maryland. While I consider my rump to be an exit only, one can only imagine the relief I felt. ;p However, there are still states where one can be fined or jailed heavily for putting a certain portion of the male anatomy where it wasn’t meant to go.

Seriously. That just blows my mind.

While I haven’t gotten much in the way of oral sex lately, I think it’s a little rediculous. A $2,000 fine and/or a whole year in jail for a blowjob in Alabama? Up to fifteen years in jail for…Well…Y’know…In Michigan? Dubya-Tee-Eff!? >.< So, I have taken upon myself to make the beginning portion of my blog a public service announcement to the oral/anal-frenzied people who read this. T-T You know who you are.

For those of you who are orally/anally fixated (Once again, you know who you are! T.T!), here is a compiled and up-to-date list of the “Do not Slurp” states. For the many that aren’t American…Eh, I’m too lazy to provide anything. Just look up Wikipedia (www.wikipedia.com) and search for “Sodomy Laws”. You’ll get a fairly accurate list.

Alabama — All sodomy acts illegal - affects only unmarried couples Penalty = (1 year/$2,000)
Florida — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (60 days/$500)
Idaho — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (5 years to life)
Kansas — Same-Sex sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (6 months/$1,000)
Louisiana — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (5 years/$2,000)
Michigan — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty =(15 years)
Mississippi — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (10 years)
North Carolina — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (10 years/discretionary fine)
Oklahoma — Same-Sex sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (10 years)
South Carolina — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (5 years/$500)
Texas –Same-Sex sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = ($500)
Utah — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (6 months/$1,000)
Virginia — All sodomy acts illegal. Penalty = (1-5 years)

But do you know what blows my mind even more? The fact that at last week’s FNM, the guy sitting right next to me gets a first-pick Avatar of Woe, second-pick Lim-Dul, and a third-pick Akroma. And then he grabs two Knight of the Holy Nimbus’. Again, I proclaim to the world: Dubya-Tee-Eff!? =(

The good news is, of course, that I beat his ass like nobody’s business. I’d have made first or second, if I hadn’t gotten a draw the first game; but considering how I won 2-0 against a deck with Woe/Lim-Dul/Akroma/Nimbus without him getting a mana screw made me feel pretty damn good. =3 You hear me, Zack!? Teh curse is still on!

Zack: I play Avatar of Woe.
Tom: …’Kay.
Zack: I attack. It has fear.
Tom: I play Assassinate. Avatar of Woe is destroyed.
Zack: ::Cries:: (No, he didn’t really cry. But I’m pretty sure I made him cry on the inside..)

Tom: I play Flowstone Channeler.
Zack: I play Lim-Dul the Necromancer.
Tom: I pay three, tapping Flowstone Channeler and targeting Lim-Dul.
Zack: Uh…Okay. Thanks.
Tom: No Problem. I Flashback Strangling Soot. Lim-Dul is destroyed.
Zack: ;-; I hate you. (He didn’t say that either. But once more, he was thinkin’ it…)

Tom: I play a morphed creature.
(And what would’ve happened if he had managed to play Akroma..)
Zack: I play Akroma, Angel of Wrath. I beat you down for six.
Tom: I flip Vesuvan Shapeshifter, targeting Akroma, Angel of Wrath.
Zack: …”Kay…
Tom: It becomes a copy of Akroma.
Zack: … …’Kay…
Tom: …It becomes a copy of a legendary creature.
Akroma and Akroma Copy: ::Boom::

…Okay, so that was my long, drawn-out boast. I put it here because I can only rub it in his face so much. <.< I can promise that I’ve made worse mistakes (Just don’t mention ‘Blood Funnel’ to anyone at Aardvark’s when I’m around, ‘kay? ;-; ), but I’d like to hope that this is a sign that I might just do better when draft-time rolls around. =)

…Or maybe not. Who knows? (Final Fantasy X pun here…)